Five ways to FAIL in your school interview

I have just finished reading Alice’s adventures in Through the Looking Glass, so here is a tongue-in-cheek mirror-world version of my usual tips! 

 5: Have no idea about the school (including the name sometimes!)

Seriously, this is really an issue, particularly when agencies have big fairs, generate a list of schools and then plonk the child in front of an interviewer. If you know you are going to a fair, spend time looking up the featured schools. After all, this is not a decision to be taken lightly.

A bit of interest goes a long way; look at school websites and see what interests your child ahead of the interview. 

 4: Answer in monosyllables. 

‘What is your favourite subject?’

‘maths’

‘why?’

‘I like it’

‘Moving on… ‘

Monosyllabic answers kill a conversation. The aim of an interview is to share information about yourself and you can’t do that without adding in a few details. Good interviewers ask open ended questions but you can’t bank on having a good interviewer! 

3: Don’t bother greeting your interviewer, sit there with a blank face.

Particularly important if you are doing a video interview. You don’t need to speak if you are from a  culture where the teacher should speak first but looking smiley and interested will have the dual effect of breaking the ice and tricking your body into calming down. 

2: Look at the ceiling (or your shoes) 

If your gaze is anywhere but on your interviewer, it becomes very difficult to make a connection. Look at your interviewer! If you can’t face full eye contact, try looking at their forehead or ear. Parents of neurodivergent children who find eye contact impossible need to speak to an interviewer ahead of time so they can adapt accordingly. 

And the top way to bomb an interview…

 1: Memorising answers written by someone else or, if you don’t know, making it up! 

‘What are you reading year five student?’

… insert name of classic book here… insert AI-style review here

‘what would you ask (character) if you met them?’

‘…!’

Don’t do it. You will either forget your answers (‘I haven’t practised for that’), sound like Chat GPT or end up being caught out. 

Unless your child is a proficient actor, they will invariably change the tone and pace of their voice when they are reciting a pre-memorised piece. Unless they are interviewing for Rada, you are wasting everyone’s time. 

Interviewers at big schools will be seeing hundreds of children a year and are experts in spotting those who have been coached to oblivion. 

There is no shame in saying that you don’t know something or haven’t read it; turn the omission into a positive with following up with a guess and a question.

WHAT DOES WORK?

Be yourself… be genuine… be smiley… be interested… be interesting!